Do the Drills to Get the Skills
Damn,
I still hate to see it. Seems like every couple of weeks I get a guy who emails me about my “stuff” and asking if it can help him.
He rattles off all the stuff he’s done previously… product after product, guru after guru. He’s desperate… he just wants to be able to have a normal sex life. “Please help?!”
A quick question shows THE problem… “How many sets do you open per night? How many nights do you go out to practice? Do you have a Plan?”
Usually, silence follows or some excuse.
If any of you are stuck in this pattern let me put it to you this way… More knowledge, a different style, better routines WILL NOT help. You’ve got to do the drills to get the skills. You already know enough.
Look at every piece of pick-up data as an INPUT to a skill that you are going to drill.
Making eye contact is a skill.
Opening is a skill.
Moving a set or a girl is a skill. (Promenading is the best version of this).
TimeBridging is a skill (maybe the second most important one).
Push/Pull is a skill.
You need to design drills for each one and do the drills. When you run into trouble it’s ALMOST NEVER the CONTENT of the communication, it is almost always the timing or structure (sometimes the delivery).
When is the last time you said, “Tonight, I am going to promenade 2 girls. Here’s how I’m going to do it… Right after I run the Best Friends Test I’m going to say, ‘Hey, you two are awesome… let’s go meet my friends.’ Then, I’ll put my arms out and motion for them to hook elbows with me.”
(I used to have a saying that if you promenaded 3 girls in a venue you were pretty much guaranteed to get laid. That was based on personal experience!!!)
Drills Give You Control
The reason you want to do drills is because it gives you CONTROL.
Control Includes the ability to start a process, modify it in action and then stop it at will.
Unless you have tangible drills set up your only hope would be to do so much work that you get it at an unconscious level. (If you ever do).
Athletes have drills because it gives them finer control of the processes in the game that increase their chances of winning!
One thing that I have ultimate respect to both El Topo and Sinn for is their ability to get themselves to do crazy shit.
El Topo talks about Sexually Transmitted Diseases in set and I’ve seen Sinn run Huge Cock Game for almost 10 minutes straight to a bitchy 2set. He’d often finally blow them out by saying, “So, I guess a blowjob is out of the question?”
Those are crazy drills!
I don’t know why they did it (I’m guessing pure amusement had a lot to do with it) but the result is they got control over spinning a set wildly out and then recovering. I used to completely stop talking in a set and wait for them to re-initiate. Then, I’d give one word answers. When I could sense they were about to leave I’d extrovert again and talk more. This data helped each of us with calibration in the future. I’m sure both of them can see if a set is starting to drift and can easily put it back on track. (Their track record proves it.)
Where to Start?!
That depends on you of course. You start with a little bit back of where you are… If you are decent at opening and holding a set then commit to getting finite control over that AND THEN the very next smallest thing in the process. In my eyes, that would be shifting to let the Target and the rest of the set know you are interested in her without the shadow of a doubt.
If you can do that then I’d say intro’ing a Sexual Frame is next.
This is a game of having control over social interactions by having control over yourself in executing the processes that we have empirically proven add up to sexual relationships.
You gotta do the drills to get the skills!
Captain Jack
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Guys always seem to think they need “more”, when typically they need “less” (especially if they've been in this little community of ours for any length of time). Well put.
I'd like to add two quotes from Dale Carnegie to this post:
“The great aim of education is not knowledge but action” and,
“Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.”
What CJ is saying is right, knowledge without implementation is worthless, or in the words of Donald Trump: “The use of knowledge is power.”
Research has shown that after two weeks we tend to remember 90% of what we say and do, compared to only 10% of what we read. In addition to that, by doing things you learn a lot of additional things. So if you want to become good with women, or with almost all other things in life, it sure is good to read the best theories and information about the subject, but in order to actually be able to do something you must practice it.
You can't learn how to fight by watching the UFC, even though you can learn some techniques, you'd still need to practice them in order to learn how to perform them.
Practice makes perfect, and the more you practice the better you get.
And, while practicing always try to improve your performance.
I think that many guys got a scarcity mentality that keeps them from trying new things with women.
They got a girl' number so they won't try to go for the SNL because they are afraid they might lose the set.
But if you know that if you lose this set you'll open another set easily you won't worry about that and try new stuff in order to improve.
I guess that's one of the reasons why Sinn and El Topo got so good, they had the balls to try outrageous shit just to learn from it, knowing that even though they might fuck that set up, there's always another set, and they will get laid no matter what.
Good post!
I love you Captain Jack. There, I said it! I'll briefly mention my story because I think it is so much in line with what you are saying here. This is a timely post. I have only recently switched to the mode that you are describing
I was introduced to the community about a year ago. The usual shit happened. I thought more knowledge=more success. This is typical consumerist mentality and permeated other aspects of my life as well (slimming down, language learning etc.). I was looking for a magic pill to make it happen without realizing that anything worth having is worth working for. I did try to work on inner game and that was really helpful, but still not getting me results. Why the heck not? Because results come in the field. Not at home, not inside that tiny speck of shit that we call mind and not by analyzing a 100 billion improbably scenarios. Action is the name of the game.
Anyhow, in the past few days, I have been working on my routine stack and BL. Already, I feel that much more confident. I am finalizing a car, so I can practice game. I actively see myself taking the steps to get good at it, one step at a time. So where did I mess up? Honestly, it seems that there were some deep inner game issues. eg. Deep inside, I felt like game was manipulation, rather than a beautiful dance leading towards intimacy. There were many others. But that is a good example. I find that my default mental state has undergone a transformation. I tend to think in terms of next actions rather than mentally mastrubating. “Getting Things Done” by David Allen was helpful in this regard. To fix those issues took time, but the process would have been accelerated had I gone out during that time. Looking back, I would just talk myself out of it. A reflection of my fear to get outside my comfort zone.
In essence future PUAs, get out there! Don't be a chump like me and waste a year before taking active steps to get good. The game is worth getting good at. Go for it!
I love you Captain Jack. There, I said it! I'll briefly mention my story because I think it is so much in line with what you are saying here. This is a timely post. I have only recently switched to the mode that you are describing
I was introduced to the community about a year ago. The usual shit happened. I thought more knowledge=more success. This is typical consumerist mentality and permeated other aspects of my life as well (slimming down, language learning etc.). I was looking for a magic pill to make it happen without realizing that anything worth having is worth working for. I did try to work on inner game and that was really helpful, but still not getting me results. Why the heck not? Because results come in the field. Not at home, not inside that tiny speck of shit that we call mind and not by analyzing a 100 billion improbably scenarios. Action is the name of the game.
Anyhow, in the past few days, I have been working on my routine stack and BL. Already, I feel that much more confident. I am finalizing a car, so I can practice game. I actively see myself taking the steps to get good at it, one step at a time. So where did I mess up? Honestly, it seems that there were some deep inner game issues. eg. Deep inside, I felt like game was manipulation, rather than a beautiful dance leading towards intimacy. There were many others. But that is a good example. I find that my default mental state has undergone a transformation. I tend to think in terms of next actions rather than mentally mastrubating. “Getting Things Done” by David Allen was helpful in this regard. To fix those issues took time, but the process would have been accelerated had I gone out during that time. Looking back, I would just talk myself out of it. A reflection of my fear to get outside my comfort zone.
In essence future PUAs, get out there! Don't be a chump like me and waste a year before taking active steps to get good. The game is worth getting good at. Go for it!