Find Out Why Captain Jack is All Depressed and Shit.
Oh look, somebody finally decided to drop in… Well, at least SOMEBODY is reading my blog.
Not that anybody cares or anything but I’m feeling a bit depressed.
Why? Look down below this paragraph and you’ll see a little feedburner thingie. It has a number inside it and that number is ridiculously small.
Now, I’m not exactly sure how all this shit works but that is supposedly the number of people on any one day who are subscribed to Captain Jack’s Grande Adventures (the insanely magnificent blog you are now feasting your eyes upon).
Pathetic, huh?
Do you know how many SINGLE people there are in the U.S.?
Well, in 2004, the most recent report I could find, there were 95.7 million. Of those, 95.7 million, 46% were male. (By the way, that means there are 9,570,704 MORE single women in the U.S. than men!)
So there are 44,022,000 single dudes. If we subtract the number above (which at the time of this writing is a measly 704) we’re left with…
44,021,296 Single Guys Who Are NOT Subscribed to My Blog.
Ridiculous.
This doesn’t even include all the guys in the UK, where my biggest fan on earth makes his home, Connor from Sex and The Ninja.
…or, Australians…
…or, the Germans…
…or, the Papua New Guineans…
etc, etc.
Anyway, my main point to all of this depressing math is: I think more single guys should be reading this amazing ridiculously useful shit I’m writing.
So, if you read my blog and you have NOT clicked that little button thingy please do so. (You DO want to cheer Dear Ol’ Captain Jack up, don’t you?)
Also… tell others about this blog. You could probably use the good karma.
Depressed in Dallas,
captain jack
P.S. Whenever I want to cheer myself up I hit up Sex and The Ninja to see if he’s mentioned my name lately. I believe it is TRULY the funniest blog I’ve ever read (besides mine). Here’s an excerpt from his latest post, “Just Like Rocky IV”:
I’m delighted with myself at this stage and just to make me feel even better the waitress wants to give us a new table and asks us which one we want, suggesting she will clear any other people! I think this is the best thing ever and strut over to a table of girls and simply demanded that they BE GONE ! So I’m shouting at these chicks“GONE! All of you GONE !!!”Then turning to the waitress“I want these chicks out of here, NOW!”And the fucking waitress is actually getting rid of them! I can’t believe it! This must be what its like to be rich and powerful. I like it!These chicks are pissed and moaning but I am having none of it!“Out of here paupers, I can SMELL the poverty off you”
P.P.S. Click on this thingy [ ] before you read his blog, though.
P.P.S. What’s that I hear? You don’t care to hear about all my psychological ups and downs… You only read this blog to learn how to get hotties to drop their soaking wet little panties, you say. Fine. I promise my NEXT post will have information so shocking you’ll probably nut immediately upon reading it. (Jerk.)
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See Related Posts
- Leaving Sydney [11.7818]
- Who is Captain Jack? [11.3574]
- Ninja Focus (and, a brief history of Captain Jack) [9.97414]
- Romance = Male-Female Sexual Tension [9.01731]
- Getting Really Good, Really Fast… A New Blueprint to Lays! [8.9764]
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haha… and it's all because your last post shed light on Dear ol' Capt. Jack's homoerotic tendencies losing you the 8,291,999 homophobic single males in america
Dont be sad dear, I love you
Im from brazil and I think Im subscribed dunno =p
If I was a chick I would bang CJ
Connor
P.S. CJ in NO way influenced me to write that
Alright El Capitan… I enjoy your blog… moreso than your blog, I enjoy your lay reports. Seeing you transform from the guy who thought he was mystery through to who you are now was awesome. I think your history is one of the FEW that is well documented, and actually believable. However, two things.
1) There are only 7,656,000 more single women than men in the U.S. (based on your figures.)
2) POST MORE. I swear man, I've gone like weeks without seeing a post from you. I read your blog EVERY SINGLE TIME you post, but it only takes me about 45 seconds. I'm dedicated to reading it because of all the time I spent reading your lay reports PDF. but, some people may not remember to come back. If you're giving us juicy shit every single day (no matter how small) then I'm sure people would view the blog as 'active' and keep coming around. I think blogs require quantity; even if the quality is low on some posts.
-PS
Meh, don't sweat it man. The problem is as technologically advanced as us blogger types are, a very small fraction of the people visiting our sites haven't a clue to what RSS or Feed Readers are. Even if they did click on the feed button, they probably wouldn't know what to do with it.
Who cares about numbers anyways, it's about quality right? Kind of like saying who's a better pua, the guy who has banged 200 fat chicks or the guy who's banged 10 super models…
You should really make entire posts available via RSS. It's annoying to have to click out of my reader to see the whole post.
Hey CJ,
I noticed that your aweber account has over 1000 people on it. Did you know that if you setup a “blog broadcast” inside Aweber these count toward your feedburner number? This would put your over 1,700 instantly. Hope it helps!
Good idea… Can you send me a link to how to do that? I googled “make entire posts available via Rss” but nothing like that came up…
Holy shit man, excellent idea. I'm beginning to think there is hope for you yet!
Probably because your posting has been erratic lately. Your archives and lay reports are amazing, but you just haven't been posting consistent, quality content to your blog.
Maybe I should have a regular update schedule. Even so, my readership has tripled in the last 6 months.
Here are google stats from Jan 5th-Feb 5th…
* 8,793 Visits
* 20,561 Pageviews
* 2.34 Pages/Visit
* 00:03:33 Avg. Time on Site
* 33.58% % New Visits
Probably because your posting has been LAME lately. Not to call you out CJ, I love your stuff and I think that you are one of the most innovative PUAs in the game, but you wrote yourself how you have 4 fuck buddies and 2 numbers in your phone. You're the guru's guru, but it seems to me that you've lost your killer instinct. That's why El Topo called you out for that February challenge. Get off of your ass and bury him! I can't wait to read about it.
Actually, I have ZERO fuck buddies and ZERO numbers. I do that when I get ready to go on a tear… Sorta like not feeding a shark for awhile so when a little blood gets in the water it goes nuts…
For the most part this post was a playful joke. My blog readership has actually tripled in the last 6 months. So while I DO believe all 44 million single guys should be reading my blog, I'm not terribly worried that it's only about 5,000.
CJ
“I promise my NEXT post will have information so shocking you’ll probably nut immediately upon reading it. (Jerk.)”
I just came. Sorry, premature e-jaculation.
CJ – we need more info on SNLs – you are the guru's guru on this stuff so master – show me the way!
K
Glad it helped!
Glad it helped!