JUST Be Yourself

Posted at November 12, 2008

Bet you’ve never heard that one, have you? Haaa….

Women’s magazines and “mainstream, clorox-bleached” dating gurus often say it… Hell, I’ve even heard girls say it after debriefing them.

Are they all wrong?

Well, yes (mainly because they disagree with me)…

AND NO!

You see, from the Females’ viewpoint, when she HAS been picked up that’s exactly how it appeared to her.

Let me give you the run down of how these things happen in “real” life:

Some dude was just being himself and chatting her and as he was she thought to herself, “I’m horny, he’s not weirding me out… I should start sending him signals.”

So, she twirls her hair. Thrusts her chest (or ass) out. Plays with her hair. Touches his arm. Laughs at all of his “jokes.” Leans into him…

Of course, he completely misses all of her signals and concentrates on saying something funny or cool.

At some point, usually after she’s given up all hope of getting laid that night, he thinks. “Damn, this chick has been talking to me for nearly an hour. I wonder if she likes me? Probably not, but I should try to get her email or something anyway.”

He gets her email or phone number. Then chases her for a few weeks trying to take her to dinner or a movie. She hasn’t been laid in weeks (or months) and she is super horny and the batteries have run out on her vibrator, so finally, she decides the offer of a movie and dinner for free is the perfect way to try to get laid without scaring the guy off or being considered a slut.

She responds to his 5th voice mail.

Eventually, they kiss.

A few weeks later they have sex.

See that? To her, he was just being himself. And, she eventually had sex with him. The massive amount of TIME he spent resulted in her having feelings of familiarity with him. The sex hormones combined to create a feeling of relationship.

Her experience based conclusion? He was just being himself, he got laid.

Now, what about the One-Night Stand or quicker lays?

Usually the same thing just compressed a bit.

Now, let’s take another facet of this…

When have girls been hurt and pissed off by guys? When the guys MISLED or LIED to them. So, when guys were “just being themselves” the girls got sex and/or a boyfriend… when they weren’t they got USED or found out they had been lied to!

What’s the lesson here?

The lesson is simple: Do the LEAST amount of work necessary to get laid AND be upfront about your intentions. This doesn’t (necessarily) mean you announce your intentions but if she is getting the wrong idea or trying to set a frame that you have no intention of maintaining nip that shit in the bud.

You want to be smooth?

The SOONER you start stripping shit out of your game the better. If you feel like you are working your ass off in set, it probably shows and then you are not matching her mental template of “a guy just being himself.” This scares her BECAUSE it is associated with past pain and rejection.

After a few months of steady progress using the same basic game plan, strip shit out. See how LITTLE you can do to get the same results.

Play.

Experiment.

For Example: Dump your “standard” openers for awhile. Go out for a few nights and say “Hi” and make small talk for a minute or two before introing your first major Piece.

Another exercise: See if you can small talk your way all the way to a TimeBridge.

Experiments like this lead to pure smoothness.

~ Captain Jack ~

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