Text Message: I’m starting to forget what you look like…
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I haven’t talked a lot about text messaging in the last year or so mainly because I’ve been so focused on SNL’s (Same Night Lays) that I don’t bother doing all the texting/calling necessary to get dates…
And, lately I’ve been helping a friend with Gaming and doing a lot of internal stuff so I haven’t been actively gaming at all but somehow ended up with 5 numbers in the last 10-12 days and I actually want to have close them so I’ve been actively texting them.
One of the text messages I’ve used for quite some time that has proven effective for getting a meetup is this:
PUA: “We should hang out soon, I’m starting to forget what you look like.”
It has worked very well for me in the past.
Why do you think it works?
And, if you have some numbers in your phone give it a shot and post a comment about the responses.
~ Captain Jack ~
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Is this meant to garner responses for stale old numbers as well? It doesn't look to me like it would, but I'll send out a batch tomorrow and report back.
I usually delete stale old numbers as soon as they haven't responded to me 2 or 3 times… OR, I haven't texted them in 2-3 weeks.
But, the good thing is if you DO text them and they start responding again it's like gravy. I'd then move them to MySpace (if you have it, I've de-activated mine.) as it will give them a chance to see you and remember you.
CJ
Brilliant idea with moving them to Myspace/facebook! I'd realized with a lot of my flakey numbers that I'd pretty much forgotten everything about them, especially what they look like; and there's no doubt that it's the same on their end. Not even being able to remember what someone looks like is a pretty sure way to ensure you won't be meeting up with them, and I couldn't think of a way to fix this. Really great to have you posting again man.
Awesome site and awesome update,
For one, the entire text shows you are not needy. Also, it has a very good Cocky/Funny frame. Another important point is, this is something a girl NEVER hears. “I forget what you look like” a girl is going to think “who the fuck is this guy?” even if you have known the girl for quite sometime and haven't seen her in awhile this works. It is a non-needy frame, it sub communicates to the girl you can take it or leave it. Your a genius. I'm using this… AND when the girl meets up with you she is more likely to look HOT because you forgot what she looks like haha! Was this close to what you were thinking?
This is funny, because last night I texted a girl to hang out and she said she had prearranged plans with another guy… luckily for me she ALREADY told me all the guys she are “seeing” are BOYS and not MEN and we already discussed how we like “no strings attached” and I just replied “Yea ill get around to you and we'll hang out soon enough, Have fun”
I might have my first FB… Now I'm going to use your text on like Tuesday if she doesn't text or call me. Thanks man.
I should say that I am putting the girl on Brad P's “Slow Track” because she is a high value girl who has a LOT of social obligations.
Interesting, I wouldn't have thought that would work…..I'm curious to hear your thoughts why actually
As expected, it didn't work on the super cold stale flakes. To be fair though they haven't responded to my last couple months worth of anti-flake texts either, so it's not a proper sample of numbers that aren't yet beaten into the ground.
I just used this yesterday, and got a meetup.
Anyway i think it works because by saying that you forgot what she looks like, you are taking away one of her main ways of feeling validated (her looks). on the flip side you are also qualifying her at the same time, Because you want to meet up with her irrespective of her looks.
In a nutshell their is a pull/push dynamic going on where the woman feels the need to revalidate her looks (ie the sexual side of her) by meeting up with you. Makes for a great message
Thanks CJ!
Used it and got a meetup, great!
I agree with your assessment of why it works, too.
CJ
Holy Shit. I'm not one of the 'ass-kisser' types… but, here is what just happened.
PS: We should hang out soon, I've almost forgotten what you look like.
Her: Haha awe… I agree! I want to see Igor ..how lame.. haha but maybe if there's a movie you haven't seen yet we can do that and then grab a bite..??
Wow… Too bad I have this name saved twice in my phone and I can't figure out which one it is!! (both would be great to see again, lol.)
Awesome dude!
You're in a great position with this since either one is one you'd like to see…
That movie “Igor” sucked big time.
~ CJ ~
The one I like better is “Who are you and what are you doing in my phone!?”
Worked like a charm the one time I used it.
Markie is talking about a post in my “Grand Adventure Volume 1″ called “Text Message Magic” where I discussed a few of my common text messages I send out to girls.
http://www.betheseducer.com/the-grande-adventur...
~ CJ ~
Texted some old stale #s, responses as follows:
“Haha that was cute. What are you up to tomorrow afternoon?”
“Wow, it's been a long time, what's up?”
“You're funny, what are you doing?”
hey this did work i got 4 girl to met with me…. thanks…….
Sent this to 4 girls today.
1. Had a great interaction with the night I got her number, hasn't responded to a single text since. No response to this.
2. Good interaction when we met, but brief. Kiss closed. Has not responded to any text since. No response to this.
3. Not sure why I have her number. I was actually trying to game her friend but I had opened her first. Responded “Haha can't forget meee”. Did not respond to followup text.
4. SNL from about a month ago, periodic contact but haven't seen her again. Responded “<blah blah work> but soon maybe this weekend let me know”
So as a follow up to my comment, the girl who said “Haha that was cute. What are you up to tomorrow afternoon?” ended up meeting me for coffee by the beach near my place, and we ended up making out for a while on the beach then coming back to my place for more fun. I'd never gotten physical before this with her but I was in a good mood and I found myself far more attracted to her than I'd been before.
Hmmm… the meet-up was planned to go to Dinner and a Movie. Over Text (follow-up convo to your text which I used) we had the following convo…
PS: Wednesday is good for me… I'll be at your place around 7pm. Dress casual!!!
HB: Pshhh I always dress casual, I'm not THAT much of a lady.
PS: Eh, we should dress up for each other soon, we can't let the flame die!!
HB: Haha, You better be talking about a FRIEND flame. [ I saw this as a shit test???]
PS:Oh, trust me, if I was coming on to you hell would be frozen and pigs would be flying! I thought you had a sense of humor?
HB: Ouch… you make me out to sound like medusa! I do have a sense of humor, I'm sorry!
PS: Don't get me wrong, you have a great personality, which makes me love hanging out with you, and you're drop dead gorgeous… You're just totally not my type.
HB: Ehhh… thanks, I guess? That makes me feel a little bit better… But, I agree, it's the same with you. You're just not for me?? I guess??
PS: Yeah, we can still be BFFL, though!
HB: Yeah, platonic friends for life!
PS: Well, my thumb is tired, I'll talk to you soon.
HB: Okay. Bye friend!
I think that her using, 'friend' so much during the end of the convo was her striving to regain control. I feel like when I pulled the just friends card on her, she felt she lost the power of whether I am just a friend or not.
My plan was to wait until about 20 mins before I was supposed to pick her up to call ( this would be over 2 days with no contact )… She text messaged me 6 hours before the movie… 'I'm so excited for the movie!!” We had a little bit of convo, but basically like us agreeing that it will be fun, and confirming that I'll be there at 7.
When I picked her up, I totally had the friend feel. I didn't want to seem like I was coming on at all. She was dressed so fucking cute too! I was way under dressed, but I wanted it to seem like I had no interest.
We went to eat, and everything was cool. We had great conversation… She laughed a lot… but, then the bill came. I took a glance at it and pulled out my credit card…
HB: How much is mine?
PS: $10
HB: okay, do you want $9 or do you have change for a $20?
PS: $9 is fine… [I think she misinterpreted it for; "No, it's fine" due to next statement]
HB: Oh, so you're going to be a big man and pay for it all?
PS: No, I said $9 is fine, if you really want to pay $10 you can owe me a dollar.
HB: Oh… *hands me $9*
HB: I don't feel like going to the movie anymore. I'm tired from work.
PS: Okay cool, let me get you home so I can make some new plans.
The whole ride home was cool.. I did ask her why she didn't want to go to the movie… I don't think it seemed needy though, because I explained that I was trying to show her that her job is not holding her back from having fun; she is convincing herself that her job is holding her back, and that was my only example.
The whole ride home she would make comments like.. “I still really want to see the movie, are you free this weekend?” and.. “I'm so happy I got out tonight, I don't let myself go out at all.. That was a big step for me…” … I didn't really care, I told her I was busy this whole weekend (which I am) So that's cool. I have a feeling that a new plan came up for her… which is fine… I just don't get where I could've gone wrong in the interaction.
My plan now is to just wait it out… She had fun and was excited to see me again, so I'll wait for her to make contact. I don't want to seem needed, I want her to have to invest. If she doesn't, well there are plenty of 'fish in the sea.'
Well, I'm thinking that you got into the friend-zone during the initial interaction. Her second text in that sequence she was already talking about a “FRIEND flame.” so she's trying to make it clear…. Not a shit test. You didn't make her feel it during the initial interaction.
This CAN be turned around BUT it's much, much easier to go out and get new girls in the pipeline. You could always just keeep teasing/sexual framing and then take her out as a pivot.
If you keep dating her she will most likely go for an LTR if she starts to get attached to you.
CJ
Awesome dude, that's great.
Time to delete those numbers dude and go get some new ones!
I got a good one…
Tested 3 times, and all times have worked like a charm.
PUA: “I saw the craziest and weirdest thing on TV and it reminded me of you…”
)”
HB: “…wow lol that sounds wonderful… What was it???”
PUA: “Well… it was an anaconda eating an alligator… then the alligator burst open! It was SICK! …yea that reminded me of you…
(Smiley is key here…. it's stupid I know, but girls like it)
HB: “…awww you are soo sweet. NOT. NO CANDY FOR YOU!”
You get the idea… have fun with it
.
Fucking A… it was the ANACONDA that burst open. LOL. Sorry, but it's just a funny text that teases the girl but lets her know that you thought about her…. That's all.
The candy text was call back humor from when we hung out before. Here is the end of it;
PUA: “Haha I try…
…besides you got the weird candy anyway…”
HB: “Well aren't you PICKY? Mr. PICKY…? Picky…picky…picky…”
PUA: “Hahaa… YOU are one to call someone picky… you little…”
She hasn't replied to that one… maybe I took it too far? Anyway, time to play a little hard to get now and tell her she lost points.
Try it out… I guess, this doesn't really get an “effective” meet up but it still teases the girl and you could easily ask her what her week is like after you send her that “reminded me of you” text.
I totally feel the friend frame with her… but then why would she expect me to pay, and even change plans when she noticed I wasn't going to foot the bill all night?
More history on us… we hung out one night [over a year ago], and ended up making out… I stopped the interaction because it was going to fast and we never really hung out that much.
A few weeks later I hear that she is saying I was a creep and that I came on way to strong. I told her that if she had a problem with the way things went down, that I would appreciate it if she made me aware of it before she told the whole world. She insisted that there was nothing wrong and said she wanted to hang out again. Maybe me trying to spend time with her is may way of showing myself [and maybe others] that she is interested in me, and that I'm not a creep. lol.
That really fucked with me, because I'm very careful about letting girls do what they want to do and not pushing their limits. It just sucks to have that said about you.
Anyway… I think that she is still hung up on her Ex-boyfriend (which is why she said that I was a creep and all of that, since I'm guessing she came clean with him about messing around with me.) I think i'll continue easier route of getting new girls. I'll cut my losses with this one, she's not THAT bad ass.
I totally feel the friend frame with her… but then why would she expect me to pay, and even change plans when she noticed I wasn't going to foot the bill all night?
More history on us… we hung out one night [over a year ago], and ended up making out… I stopped the interaction because it was going to fast and we never really hung out that much.
A few weeks later I hear that she is saying I was a creep and that I came on way to strong. I told her that if she had a problem with the way things went down, that I would appreciate it if she made me aware of it before she told the whole world. She insisted that there was nothing wrong and said she wanted to hang out again. Maybe me trying to spend time with her is may way of showing myself [and maybe others] that she is interested in me, and that I'm not a creep. lol.
That really fucked with me, because I'm very careful about letting girls do what they want to do and not pushing their limits. It just sucks to have that said about you.
Anyway… I think that she is still hung up on her Ex-boyfriend (which is why she said that I was a creep and all of that, since I'm guessing she came clean with him about messing around with me.) I think i'll continue easier route of getting new girls. I'll cut my losses with this one, she's not THAT bad ass.