Meta Sticking Points
1. Approach Anxiety - the horrible physiological fear reaction at the very THOUGHT of approaching. Physiological reactions include: rapid heartbeat, lump in throat, sweating hands, fear kinesthetics in solar plexus and/or throat.
2. Society Blocking Programs – After AA is removed you don’t experience the physiological reactions. Instead, at the thought of approaching your excuse generator starts throwing out negative inner dialogue in a rapid manner. This short-circuits your motivation program causing you to do nothing. (I think Shark has the most developed ideas on this. EDIT: just read Sinn’s Flawless Natural Review… Tim may have surpassed Shark on this subject.) This creates a different kind of physiological pain. The feelings and inner dialog become a self-reinforcing loop that seems nearly impossible to break out of… This is why many PUAs (myself included) use copious amounts of alcohol.
3. Self-Sabotage - everything seems to be going fine but you consistently throw something out to ruin the set. Stems from deservedness issues.
4. Sexual Escalation Anxiety - fear of escalating sexually. This could be due to lack of experience. Sometimes it appears when the seduction is going well and we don’t want to do anything to ruin it. In that case it’s related back to #3.
Interestingly, most of the people who end up getting really, really good had/have horrible AA. It seems to force you to improve in the hopes of avoiding the pain. Another odd thing I’ve noticed is that the people who never had AA and can ignore Society Blocking Programs have 3 and 4 fairly bad…
CJ
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- Does Hooking Up Hurt You? [11.6558]
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Point 1 and 2 are related to each other. Often you make excuses to avoid the psychological effects named in nr1.
Any chance you’ll do an inner game seminar at some point?
And how do you get rid of points 3 and 4 if you can ignore 1 and 2?
godspeed, I think they’re all related to an underlying problem of Low Self-Approval.
The main differences are WHEN they happen in the process and WHAT triggers them.
CJ
This is a very important post. I’m curious as to what strategies are used for removing these sticking points?
this is a realy great post. I suffer from 3 and 4 quite badly. Any posible help on theese people talk about AA alot but not about self sabotage and sexual esculation angsiaty.