Lay Report: Juggs.

Posted at May 15, 2008

When I was a kid my dad and I moved in with my Grandparents for awhile after my mom and dad got divorced.

It was cool with me… They had a big backyard, a big front yard and plenty of quiet streets to do wheelies on my bike. I ordered a bunch of stuff from “Asian World of Martial Arts” – a bunch of Shuriken and a Bokken and my Authentic Ninja Suit complete with Tabi.

I’d lose myself for hours running around hurling Shuriken into my Ninja Enemies (the trunks of my Granddad’s prized trees) then slicing their heads off with one simple pass of my Bokken.

Every morning I’d wake up deciding what new missions I would have to perform or what scenes I’d be re-enacting from “Enter The Ninja.”

Until I discovered porn.

And, here’s how it happened: One day my friend and I were riding our bikes around the neighborhood. I got the crazy idea to go past Vickery. You probably had a Vickery in your youth too. It’s that street that your parents said, “Don’t go past that street… It’s too far.. It’s too dangerous… You’re liable to get kidnapped and molested by weirdos in a white van with no windows… blah, blah, blah…”

My friend looked at me like I was nuts.

I spoke not a word to let him know I was serious. I could see him calculating in his head. The punishment versus the payoff. After a full minute… the faint etchings of a smile started on the right side of his face and then, gaining speed with each second, spread all the way across until he was grinning like a monkey who had just discovered a barrel of bananas.

I slammed down my highest pedal and looked back at him… “C’mon!”

He sped towards me. We pedaled like Tour De Force bikers for the Vickery finish line.

Our enthusiasm came to a dead stop when we got there. The steel cars rushed by so fast the wind actually moved our bodies a bit. Those suckers were moving Fast!

We decided we needed a little more training, plus… what did we really want to see past Vickery anyway?

We headed back home. Across the railroad tracks we looked down and noticed a box. Being curious kids we thought it could be treasure or something…

…and it was!

A box full of porn magazines. I’m not talking about 4 or 5 or even 10… There had to be nearly 40 or more. An entire assortment!

And, they weren’t Playboys either. They were Oui, Penthouse, and my all-time fave: Swank.

But, the one that really caught my eye was Juggs. It was unreal! After that find I played less and less Ninja and got more and more interested in girls.

So, tonight I was reminded of that time I first encountered Juggs when I pulled this girls bra and top off.

Juggs.

Amazing.

They are etched into my memory. I took mental snapshots of them in action sequence after action sequence.

And, bonus she happens to be cool. We never went out.

I met her at a hotel after party when Mr. X prank called her friend’s party acting like Hotel Security. They came down (8 of them) in their P.J.s to drink with us. Me and Mr. X and 8 hot girls.

At first I thought she was being bitchy…

I started getting into subtle verbal battles with her. I considered outright negging her.

But then I asked myself,


“Could you let go of being so smart and allow it to be
other than what you think it is?”
As soon as I did that I noticed a considerable shift in our conversation. I began to see her “bitchiness” as a manifestation of Ego-Protection and her tendency to relive her Story more than paying attention to what is actually occurring right in front of her.

(On a semi-related note: I had been noticing and pointing Low Self Esteem (LSE) out to friends/students/puas for a couple of months. I now believe 95% of girls in the bar ARE LSE so bad it is dumbfounding. I’ll write more about this later… but, start watching for it and you’ll start to see it all over the place.

Stories are another layer of Ego-Protection. People make split decision assumptions about where things are going based on their past experiences and then behave and communicate in a way that give higher probabilities for the Story to be confirmed. If you see it happening you can break it. I believe one of the strengths of Sexual Framing is it pre-emptively breaks Stories.)

In fact, it wasn’t bitchiness at all. It was actually her deciding that our communication wasn’t going to go anywhere so she was doing NOTHING to try to help it.

The result of her Story (in this case) was simply speaking her mind in a direct and unembellished way.

Once I caught this I did the same thing. I accepted what she said and spoke my mind, too. The more we did this the more attracted we became.

After about 40 minutes her friend wanted to leave so we exchanged numbers and kissed.

We only texted back and forth for a few weeks before seeing each other again. I literally did NOTHING to try to advance the relationship other than try to get her out.

She flaked once… I flaked twice.

Finally, she came over last week, we watched Entourage and made out and got boob access but as I sensed some resistance I backed off.

She came over again tonight. Done deal.

Total elapsed time: 3 hrs 40 minutes. No dates. No phone time. Not even Strawberry Fields.

Simple.

~ Captain Jack ~

P.S. What is this post REALLY about? Layers within Layers.

P.P.S. “Essential substance partakes neither of identity nor difference.”

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Lay Report, Lay Reports, Sexual Framing

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