Fuck Alcohol

Posted at February 13, 2008

This post is a waste of fucking time. Save yourself 3 minutes and don’t read it.

The night ended with me in the car with vomit on my brand new jacket ($27.98 at Target)… I was shivering from the cold and dizzy as hell.

The day started innocuous enough. I met Sinn at the bookstore to do some “work…” Sinn and I have similar working styles.

Type 2-3 sentences… take a 5 minute break. Another 2-3 sentences, bathroom break, etc. until about 8 hours later we have a full paragraph.

Then, we hit the fucking alcohol store because Sinn wanted to get alcohol for the “after party” that we’re always trying to get stupid girls to come to…

This is where it starts going south.

I decided to have a taste of the Chimay I bought but Sinn is so fucking poor and disorganized he has no cups. So there I am with a gigantic bottle of Chimay and it has one of those gay ass lids that once you pull it off it won’t go back on…

Decision time… Finish the bottle or let that delicious concoction created by Trapist Monks in Belgium go to waste.

Fuck it… can’t be wasting beer. There are poor people in the world who can’t afford Chimay.

And, what’s a 40 without rap music?

So, I log onto Youtube and search for all the true gangster rap. The chimay bottle is almost empty and I’m thirsty and already buzzed.

Eazy-e would have more beer…

Shiner 1 down.

Sinn is laughing at me because I’m drunk at 4:00 pm on a Tuesday, but whatever, he’s not drunk so his input doesn’t matter.

We stumble out to go have some mexican food with one of our friends and he says we should have more beer.

Miller Lite #1 and #2 go down over dinner while our friend tells us he’s awesome and some other non-coherent bullshit. I agree that he’s awesome because I don’t hang with unawesome people.

I spent most of the time whining about how I hate to approach girls and how they should just come fucking talk to me if they wanna unleash the beast in the sheets.

Sinn says he loves women. He loves everything about them… how they smell… how they can’t make a rational decision… He says all girls are his and he loves them whether they have sex with him or not, that he respects their decision and they’re valuable anyway… (Oh, wait a minute… no he didn’t).

After dinner our friend is still talking about how awesome he is and we go back to Sinn’s apartment.

I’m watching rap videos on Youtube while Sinn and awesome friend talk about how they want to be like me… how they wish they had been born with my intellect and wit… it’s making me blush and I pretend like I’m not listening. They’re making plans to get a massive manly physique like mine and shit but it’s really all genetics man, nothing you can do about that shit.

We finish off the Shiner and decide we’re going to have to leave the apartment if we want more beer.

Fucking inconvenient.

I stagger down the hallway. Someone mentions having more Chimay and that’s what we do when we get to the bar.

After 3 more chimays I open my phone and start talking shit to pretty much everyone in my phone. One of the fucking dumbasses I’m with says we should go drink somewhere else and we do…

About 1:15 am I black out after calling the bartender a lesbian.

I got about 15 messages this morning from girls that said, “Wtf? What’s that supposed to mean!?!”

Fuck Alcohol.

~ CJ ~

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