Can You Get Laid Everytime You Go Out?
Yo,
I’ve been saying for quite some time now that huge increases in my game won’t come from optimizing tactical seduction. I’m not going to see huge jumps by teasing better… or TB’ing better or handling logistics better. Sure, I could squeeze out another 15-20% but I’m looking for 200%, 300%, etc.
I believe getting laid nearly EVERY time you go out is not only possible, it’s eventual.
Of course you’ll have weird shit happen… one night Sinn and I were pulling a two set and the girl got in a fight in the bathroom. (Nothing like getting kicked in the head to break your state.)
Another night I was pulling a 21 year old massage therapist from x-bar and her friend threw up in the passenger seat of her car as we were leaving the parking lot.
(Yet another time I was taking a Stripper home and SHE opened my door at a stop light and puked… I’ve never seen so much liquid come from such a little human being… I remember thinking, ‘Where did she keep all of that?’)
Shit happens. But, besides uncontrollable random shit happening I believe it’s possible.
Anyone who reads my blog and archive knows that I have Approach Anxiety. It comes and goes and varies in its strength.
I could certainly just say, “Fuck it” and slog through it. The AA DOES subside after the first set or two but I keep having this nagging feeling that it is just not good to keep punishing yourself and suppressing emotions will make things worse for you. (This is why there is a LOT of self-medication going on in the community. I’d even go so far to say that AA and Misogyny are linked.)
(The opposite tack is to Express your emotions using state-pumping techniques and run around opening sets like a Clown on Ecstasy.)
I also believe that even when you force yourself and it goes well you are still working under less than optimal conditions. The emotion itself still lingers in your unconscious like a black cloud coloring everything you do.
When the set does go well and you are rewarded you are rewarding the AA as well so it gets reinforced.
The thing that keeps me going is that there are people who don’t have this issue. Normally, in NLP Modeling you’d find 3 Exemplars and take them through the Modeling process to discover the commonalities, build the model and then test it.
The problem is all the guys I’ve met who don’t have AA aren’t getting the kind of results I want so their value as Exemplars is questionable.
All the guys who are extremely good who have AA also are not getting better results than me AND are usually self-medicating (via Alcohol Abuse) as well.
Does this mean that there aren’t guys at the level who don’t have AA?
Not sure. Maybe not.
My thinking is that many of those guys never even found the community because they didn’t need to… If you don’t have AA and you work and get really good results then you either 1) won’t look for the community or 2) look but be so turned off by the non-coolness of everyone that you leave.
Society’s conditioning puts pressure on us to get a nice girlfriend, get married, etc. Many of these guys played for awhile… found a girl they liked and settled down… or have periods of play between longer periods of LTR.
So, what’s a PUA Zen Ninja Scientist to do?
The answer: Run experiments!
My apologies to Sinn. He had a really hot two-set going. His target was exactly his type. I thought she was really hot as well because in addition to being thin, big boobed, nice assed, she was really elegant looking and not drunk. The obstacle was hot, too. Blonde, big titties, blue eyes, great face.
They were ready to go but I was running my experiment. In retrospect I should’ve cut it off at 1:30 and helped him pull. It was on. Looking back I don’t think it would’ve necessarily hurt my experiment… so I should’ve done it.
Here’s the experiment:
As I’m sitting there in the club I become extremely aware of my internal feelings and my internal dialogue as I set my intention to go open a set.
Wow, the shit that is in there. Really weird stuff. Then, you acknowledge the feeling, delabel it and let it go.
When I say delabel I mean that you are not allowed to give it a big nominalization like “fear.” You delabel it by identifying only the kinesthetic associations.
Knot in my stomach, coolness down the centerline… exhale and let it go.
Why would someone do this instead of going and trying to “bang a hottie?” Because he’s committed to Mastery.
The process of delabeling helps to stop the automatic subconscious programs that kick in when you’ve decided you are experiencing something.
If you are experiencing FEAR right before you approach then you have automatic programs that kick in. They might cause you to open in a clowny manner… or subdued manner or whatever to protect yourself.
This is NOT what we want. We want to open from a position of pure power, peace and calmness.
That’s the next level.
~ CJ ~
P.S. If you think others would benefit from reading this let them know at Grow Your Game
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I’ve read a few works of Osho, who also advises to never ever suppress emotions, but he does have a couple of methods to redirect the energy within. One method is to first feel the emotion fully, don’t deny/suppress any of it. Much like “delabeling” you’re recognizing the feel and putting yourself in the moment to stop the energy from growing or gaining momentum, second, when you’re acknowledging what the sensations are trace it back to the source within you. This redirects the energy without stagnation, or leaving traces of it by trying to physically burn it off.
It is interesting you say all this because I am currently reading “A New Earth” which is a book about combining yourself with your conscience and becoming “one” or “enlightened”. (A lot of principles in this book can relate to game)
But, it is interesting you say that because this is like the shit in Tolle’s book. You recognize your problem, your problem is AA. Recognizing is the first step to helping eliminate it. Because AA is such an ambiguous thing… like the ego, just knowing you have it and being like “well, I have AA… I better come to grips with it” but you don’t even really want to do that. You want to come to grips with it but not only that, you want to embrace it as well… and know it is a negative thing (knowing this will help eliminate it) but acknowledge that you have it and acknowledge that it isn’t helping you.
So that in future moments when you do get AA you are recognizing that it is a detriment.
Man… all I gotta say is, go read “A New Earth” if you haven’t. Sorry it is so rambled but Tolle’s ideas are also rambled… I’m on to something though… hope this helps?
(if you want more on these ideas, ill provide my email)
Yeah dude, I’m actually somewhat to reaching a level like this. Bear in mind I’m pretty young, and an awkward kid who happens to be kinda cool when he’s not too busy being awkward… but when I fully embrace my emotions (as I did today) it’s just the best thing ever. When I see a hot girl, I think to myself “Wow you are really cute I’d love to get to know you!” when I look at her, and since it’s the truth, she likes it. Crazy stuff. Yesterday was actually the first time I ever experienced this (funny timing)… I ended up feeling kinda sad today, though, since I have no women. But tomorrow is a new day, and a fresh start to accept myself and try to capture all the women I love
Steve P has a technique that KILLS AA. I’ve done it by SITTING AT HOME and doing NOTHING. I used to do the technique about 10 times a day(it takes about 20 secods for one time) for about a week. It kills the feeling and you replace it with good feelings and thoughts. Within 2 days effects are noticable as fuck. And I shit you not, this works as fuck. And besides, community doesn’t have this and I won’t reveal it either. I think he might teach this on his seminars so revealing it here wouldn’t be proper. Opening sets is better because you learn the skill.
How about integrating ‘The Now’ fully? Might be possible.
Hey CJ,
I am from Germany and there is a PUA in my area called Satori. He started a blog recently
satoriseduction.blogspot.com
He’s a genuine guy and has some pretty good and fresh thoughts on AA.
He’s referred to as the white knight from the lair guys, because he’s never taken money for anything and has never been part of any group or company. He helped a lot of intermediate guys like me.
I bumped into him in field once and asked him about a few thoughts on my sticking points. He literally took me by the hand and went into some amazing stuff in front of some very hot chicks. They were completely into him and he was talking about flowers and trees. He pulled two of them to the bathroom and changed my complete thinking of the world in one hour. This blew my mind!!!! Make sure to give it a try!!!
Word,
Joe
-papa, yeah Sinn really likes Osho and has recommended him a few times. His ideas sound very interesting in this area. Thanks for the recommendation.
-evolpha, I’ve been hearing about Tolle for quite awhile now. I have his first book but at the time I started reading it (about 2 years ago) I couldn’t really get into it. I’m going to go back and read it soon. I’m a writer so I spend a lot of time at the bookstore coffee shop and I swear everytime I go in there at least one person is reading ‘A New Earth.’
Anonymous Joe, I went and looked at Satori’s blog and it’s pretty cool. I think he’s got a lot of useful ideas.
Thanks guys for the recommendations/feedback.
~ CJ ~
Yeah, I heard his first book is very very boring… “A New Earth” isn’t very boring at all.
It is very popular right now thanks to Oprah. My mother actually told me about “A New Earth” after I read about half of it… because she watches Oprah and Oprah was talking about it.
Btw, do you embrace Zan or Deida?
explore Ayurveda if you get a chance. Massage your body with sesame oil & leave it for a while and see how that grounds you in being calm throught the day…