Great post. I’m not a great PUA, …
Comment posted The Magnification Principle by Hayden.
Great post. I’m not a great PUA, so I kind of stumbled onto this as almost a crutch of sorts. I was a pretty negative person so when I decided I need to become more positive… well, everything became positive and anything that was negative, if I couldn’t reframe it, then I basically ignored it.
So either I was 50% positive and 50% neutral (a great improvement from being 50% positive and 50% negative). This was for me because I was such a negative guy, so I tried as hard as I could to swing as much in the other direction as possible which I believe has led me to automatically adopting your Magnification Principle.
Hayden also commented
- Just in response to ware_ru, I can see where your coming from and I think you need to change the mindset from she is making the party, to simply that she is attending the party.
The focus of attention should never be on her, if she flakes, its her loss, if she doesn’t return your phone calls its her loss. You can go out and get new girls any night of the week and have a blast without her, so she’s missing out, and it shouldn’t effect you in any way. - Reminds me of “Law of Attraction” mentioned in “The Secret”.
The principle theorizes that people’s feelings and thoughts attract real events in the world into their lives.
Good stuff! - IME sometimes I HAVE had to address the flakiness, usually in a teasing manner, but sometimes I have had to address it because if you allow them to flake on you with absolutely no compunction and no response (not picking up your calls, not calling you back, etc.) then they feel it’s acceptable to do so and will continue to do it. Then you can’t even get them on the phone to get them into state to want to meet up.
But yes, I do think that simply ignoring it is usually the best policy (especially if it’s not a consistent pattern) – but sometimes it is definitely necessary to bring it up; calibration has to be used to figure out which situation is which. - I think that would make an awesome post! What to do after you get flaked on? Do you just call her 2 days after it happened and continue the interaction casually?
-JS - Talk about ESP! I was writing an article for the WKS forum last night on this exact thing… when my computer restarted just before I finished.
I’ve had a lot of observations about reactionism over the past two months and your style of PU is the #1 catalyst for my observations… I’ll post them tomorrow.
Great article
-Priest-
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Talk about ESP! I was writing an article for the WKS forum last night on this exact thing… when my computer restarted just before I finished.
I’ve had a lot of observations about reactionism over the past two months and your style of PU is the #1 catalyst for my observations… I’ll post them tomorrow.
Great article
-Priest-
Great post. I’m not a great PUA, so I kind of stumbled onto this as almost a crutch of sorts. I was a pretty negative person so when I decided I need to become more positive… well, everything became positive and anything that was negative, if I couldn’t reframe it, then I basically ignored it.
So either I was 50% positive and 50% neutral (a great improvement from being 50% positive and 50% negative). This was for me because I was such a negative guy, so I tried as hard as I could to swing as much in the other direction as possible which I believe has led me to automatically adopting your Magnification Principle.
I think that would make an awesome post! What to do after you get flaked on? Do you just call her 2 days after it happened and continue the interaction casually?
-JS
IME sometimes I HAVE had to address the flakiness, usually in a teasing manner, but sometimes I have had to address it because if you allow them to flake on you with absolutely no compunction and no response (not picking up your calls, not calling you back, etc.) then they feel it’s acceptable to do so and will continue to do it. Then you can’t even get them on the phone to get them into state to want to meet up.
But yes, I do think that simply ignoring it is usually the best policy (especially if it’s not a consistent pattern) – but sometimes it is definitely necessary to bring it up; calibration has to be used to figure out which situation is which.
Reminds me of “Law of Attraction” mentioned in “The Secret”.
The principle theorizes that people’s feelings and thoughts attract real events in the world into their lives.
Good stuff!
Just in response to ware_ru, I can see where your coming from and I think you need to change the mindset from she is making the party, to simply that she is attending the party.
The focus of attention should never be on her, if she flakes, its her loss, if she doesn’t return your phone calls its her loss. You can go out and get new girls any night of the week and have a blast without her, so she’s missing out, and it shouldn’t effect you in any way.