Kiss Tests

Posted at August 26, 2007

So, you’re talking to this woman in a bar or club environment. Things are going well. You are past qualification and having a real conversation. You think, “Maybe I should kiss her…”

How do you know she is “ready” to be kissed?

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And, the very question itself shows the difference in how men view kissing versus how women view kissing.

For women in the very early stages of talking to a man, the first kiss or two is more of an exploratory experience. It is NOT a sexual act for them. It is more of a way to discover more about the man and their feelings for them.

If you’ve experimented with club makeouts before you may have noticed something curious. You make out with a girl, you think its on. You get her number and begin fantasizing about how amazing it’s going to be on the Day2. You’re thinking you’ll probably full close her. I mean, why not? You two were just kissing in public.

You call, no answer, no return call. Nothing.

Or, how about this one. You make out with a girl. It seems pretty on. A half hour later while you’re in another set you look over and she’s making out with another dude. You’re thinking WTF?

In those early stages men put more sexual meaning in the kiss whereas for women it’s more about curiosity and exploration of their feelings in relation to the man. (This is NOT to say that a kiss won’t turn her on. She WILL start to get turned on by kissing.)

An intermediate PUA running Flash Game could easily get 4-6 makeouts in a night – and have little to show for it at the end of the night.

Kiss Tests
How do you know when a woman is ready to be kissed?

Simple. If she’s talking to you for more than 20-30 minutes, it’s going well and she is smiling and looking at you, then she wants to be kissed. It really IS that simple.

I’ll detail here a few kiss tests I’ve used in the past and then tell you what I do now.

Mystery’s Kiss Close
This was my bread and butter for a long time. I used it as the 4th or 5th question of the Question Game if her questions were sexual.

PUA: “You want to kiss me, don’t you?” (I say ‘don’t you’ with Command tonality, not question tonality)

IF HB: “Yes”
THEN *Kiss*

IF HB: “No.”
THEN PUA: “I didn’t say you could, you just looked like you had something on your mind.”

IF HB: “Maybe” or “Not Now/Here”
THEN PUA: “Ok.”

I like this for a couple of reasons:
1. It is simple.
2. It allows you to add to your Calibration Reference Points
3. For the “maybe” or “not now/here” answers it builds anticipation
4. It subtly implies she wants the kiss more/before you did.

I DO NOT like it because it uses ego protection. There’s nothing like a lean away to burn the kissing calibration into your bones. It can kill sexual tension and for less grounded PUAs a “no” can derail them.

Style’s Evolution Phase Shift
Not going to list it here as it is rather long and involved. It does work. I’ve seen many a PUA use it with success. Great for Flash Game if you need to make an adjacent Target EXTREMELY jealous.

Pros: Interesting. Intriguing. Uses built-in physiological attraction mechanisms (hair pull).
Cons: Can’t think of any…

Kino Test First
When I used to be a Wuss I devised this plan for kissing on the Day2 or on the Same Night in deep comfort. I’d lean in real close to her, if she didn’t move, looked me deep in my eyes and opened her mouth a little I’d kiss her (maybe, depending on my boldness at that point.) If she leaned away even a little, I’d reach for her earring or necklace and give her a compliment on it.

Pros: Simple. Builds calibration. Builds anticipation.
Cons: Still protecting the ego. Missed opportunities because she could lean away out of nervousness or tension.

Stoplight Kiss
If I’m in a girls car after pulling then I could’ve kissed her LONG ago. I DO NOT want to have NOT kissed her by the time I get to the sex location so when we hit a stop light I simply look over at her and say, “Oh look a stoplight! You know what that means!” and pull her over and start making out. Never failed but then again it should work because we’re already on our way to sex location.

What I do now…
Now that I use sexual framing it is actually advantageous for me NOT to kiss her until the car ride home. It builds anticipation and sexual tension to talk dirty, fill her mind with dirtiness and let it build. I WILL tease by getting real close to her like I’m about to kiss her and then not do it. I’ll also talk in her ear a lot for the closeness and heat in her ear.

Which brings me to another point. If you are talking in her ear and she presses her cheek to yours, she wants to be kissed.

Debriefing
If it’s your goal to get really good at this you need to be debriefing the women you have sex with.

“When did you know you wanted to kiss me?” Or, “When could I have first kissed you?”

You’ll be surprised at the answers.

There is another benefit to kissing in the club that I haven’t yet mentioned. It shows you have balls and you’re comfortable with the male/female dynamic.

But, so does telling you if she doesn’t stop you’re going to put her on the table and take care of business.

I like the dirty talking. It seems to work better than kissing.

~ Captain Jack ~

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Sexual Framing

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