The Window Escape Story
This happened when I was about 19 or 20. It was LONG before I new anything about PU.
My friend and I were at a 24 hour pool hall in Arlington, TX. Two cute girls walked in while me and my friend were playing pool. My friend and I did what we normally did: Stared at them and then talked about how we’d do bad things to them.
There was only one problem: Both of us were scared shitless to talk to any girls, even in our social circle talking to girls made us both extremely nervous. The idea of going and talking to a girl we didn’t even know was entirely foreign to both of us.
But, one of the girls just kept looking over at us. We argued over who she was looking at for about 5 minutes. Finally she walked right by the pool table looked directly at me, slowed down her rate of walking and then smiled REAL big at me.
I looked down immediately.
He conceded: “Dude! She wants you! Go talk to her!”
Me: “I know man…I know.” I looked at her up at the bar. It was merely 15 feet away but might as well have been 1000 miles.
I turned around and took my shot. When I turned back around she was walking back by and smiling. “Hi” she said.
I squeaked at a barely masculine “Hello.”
Before I knew it we were in a conversation. I have no idea what we talked about. But I remember mentioning we should go out. She asked if I had a pen and wrote her number on the back of a receipt.
I tried not to look her way for the rest of the game. The pressure of not looking over there was unbearable. I told my friend we were leaving after this game.
We paid and left and when we hit the parking lot we high fived each other (ugh, I’m getting nauseated remembering this).
I had him drive the car. I looked at that piece of paper as if it were the winning lotto numbers.
We went to eat and every 5 minutes I’d check my pocket to make sure the number was still there.
I called her one night and she invited me to a friend’s party. They were all drinking but I declined the beer because I was underage and driving.
She got plastered and we stumbled a few doors down to her place. As soon as we got to the front door there was a loud thud followed by frantic scratching, growling and barking. The door actually shook as the dog tried to crash through it. She told me to take a few steps back because she had to lock the dog in another room.
CJ: “Jesus! What kinda dog is that?”
HB: “Rottweiler”
CJ: “shit”
I didn’t take a few steps back. I took a few steps back and about 12 feet to the right behind the Oak tree in the middle of her lawn. I eyed the lowest branch to get a fix on it because this girl was no more than 105 pounds and I wasn’t convinced she could hold that frothing monster back.
When she came back I was pretending like I was just touring her lawn.
We get inside and we’re making out on the couch. But, I can’t concentrate because that beast is trying to chew through her bedroom door. I keep imagining his gigantic paw hitting the doorknob in just the right way, springing him loose. I imagined using her as a human shield as I dove through the large living room window and up the Oak tree.
We are making out hardcore. I slip my hands down her pants to feel a wondrous booty. She had a beautiful body. She started falling asleep while we were making out. I had no escalation skills back then otherwise this would’ve been a done deal on the couch.
She says, “Let’s go sleep in my room.”
She gets up to get the dog and I’m fucking cringing on the living room floor on the side of the couch using the armrest as cover. She’s in her socks and the dog is fighting to get to me. He pulled her a few feet in my direction more than once as her socks provided no traction.
When she’s a safe distance I head to her room and shut the door. I look around the room and see a nice water bed, some pictures, a small bookshelf and a HUGE, MASSIVE fishtank. It must’ve been about six feet long.
Only this fishtank is empty. And, it has a spotlight. And a tree branch.
She comes back in and I say, “What happened to your fish?”
She says, “Oh, haaa, that’s for my boa constrictor.”
I squint my eyes and say, “I don’t see it.”
She laughs again and starts undoing the covers. I begin laying on her waterbed when she drops a bomb on me, “He escaped a few days ago. Last time I found him by the Clothes Dryer, guess he liked the warmth”
So, there I am laying in her waterbed with a frothing demon dog sniffing and clawing at her bedroom door while there’s a boa running loose in her house.
She passes out.
I lay in her bed still as corpse. I hear everything. Every little sensation on my body is cause for alarm. Every itch triggers panic and fear. I can’t sleep because I don’t want to wake up to a satanic dog eating my liver or a boa constrictor wrapped around my neck.
I am literally trapped.
I look at her window and there’s a bush outside about halfway up the window. That’s my only escape.
Fuck it.
I open the window, kick the screen out and push myself through the bushes. I have scratches on my face and arms but it’s worth it!
I’m a free man!!!!
I never called her again. She never called me.
~ Captain Jack
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Great story. That’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever read, anywhere, by anyone. CJ you are one hilarious dude.
lmao CJJ u were a noob
lol thats pretty good…for a 19 or 20 hhehehehe.
Absolutely awesome story and amusingly honest!
I’m using these sort of DLV-stories to calibrate, when the previous DHV-story went too far and the girl starts to feel not good enough for me.
The key secret here is, it has to be funny as hell. And by making fun of yourself you’re somehow DHVing again because you’re showing that “I don’t care” vibe. The only difference to the first DHV is that this one makes you look more human….so, calibration works here as well in bigger context. Not just with IOI/IOD.
Anyway, awesome stuff, CJ!!!
I almost peed myself reading this..
paracal
CJ you are a great storyteller. Thats really all I have to say.
This was very funny. And urhm, to anonymous guy telling this is a dhv story, no… It is a Comfort story if ANYTHING… And if you are going to tell it, make sure to say you were 15 as Captain Jack sure acted like a baby =)
Love,
Xtreeme