Lay Report: Tastes Kinda Like Snot

Posted at June 18, 2007

This is an extremely graphic Lay Report. If that offends you, go here.

The Strip club was a bust. Earlier in the week I number closed a hot 19-year old cocktail waittress at the best strip club we’ve found so far…so we can’t go back there otherwise she’ll think I’m stalking.

The strippers don’t approach us. Sinn says its because we don’t look desperate, we look like we get laid so they don’t approach.

We bail and head to X-Bar. It’s karaoke night but kinda dead because it’s a new venture for this place.

I get a text from the girl from BJR: Intuition and tell her where we’re at. Sinn number closed one of her friends when we met a week or so ago. When she got there she was way hotter than we both remembered. She got lasik last week and was wearing better clothes. She comes over and starts chatting Sinn.

My girl comes over and hugs me.

It’s on and we pick up where we left off. Make-outs. Dirty talk. All that sweet stuff.

She finally says, “If I take you home and fuck you, will you be gentle so I can walk at work tomorrow?”

I’ve started telling girls that I’m going to punish their little vaginas. I tell them they won’t be able to walk tomorrow. That they’ll be limping for a few days. It’s great fun.

I told her “No. I’m going to destroy it.” or something similar.

Sinn has two jealousy threads going and his girl is getting flustered. (But, serves her right she was trying a power play and didn’t realize who she was dealing with haa).

I almost pull off the bounce to Sinn’s Target’s house but it falls apart somewhere. I get my girl to take me and Sinn to his place.

We start escalating on the couch during Entourage and Sinn soon makes himself scarce.

I decide I want to hit it on the balcony.

So, there we are on Sinn’s balcony. I got her here by attacking her neck. That’s her weak spot. She goes ape shit when I suck on her neck and breath heavy in her here.

Sinn has crashed out in his room. But, we still have an audience. A voyeur is watching us from a higher floor. Two, I think, by the movement of the blinds.

I’m doing my best to destroy that J-Lo booty with a series of handprint grade spanks.

Unfortunately, I can’t come because of the alcohol imbibance. I put her on the cool concrete floor of the balcony and start jackhammering away. But, that arrangement lasts barely a minute because of the wear and tear on my knees.

Finally, realizing I’m not going to cum, I stand up and start jerking it. Her mouth becomes a suction cup on my balls.

We still have an audience.

She’s very good at this…too good. I’m about to go. I angle it upwards and it shoots off landing on her cheek and in her hair. I still have my head thrown back enjoying the after shocks. Then, I look around to see if we still have an audience. Check.

She stands up and says, “mmmm….bite my neck”

I go to work on her neck like the Vampire Lestat, only to discover the freak has wiped my come from her cheek all over her neck.

(Tastes kinda like snot.)

~ Captain Jack ~

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