How to Get Back at Your Ex

Posted at April 17, 2007

This is something I’ve had the good fortune to do once or twice.

Believe me, I tried everything and have heard of other guys trying numerous things but this is the only thing that works.

Step 1: Remember all that cool shit you wanted to do but never got around to? Go do it.

Step 2: Change your style into something MUCH cooler and edgier. Your style can give you a leg up during your initial approach. Get a cool haircut. I know the hair designers at Toni & Guy are usually pretty good about maximizing your hairstyle for coolness. I’ve tried to cut corners and go cheap but it doesn’t work.

Step 3: When you run into your ex, no matter what has happened, treat her like she’s a bud. Be absolutely devoid of any sexual interest whatsoever.

Step 4: Ask her for relationship advice.

Step 5: Tell her how amazingly happy you are and how life is awesome and everything is looking up. This will make her feel like her life sucks and she was the cause of your misery.

Step 6: Use the secret weapon of “Ambition” by telling her all the amazing plans and passions you’re following through with (now that you’re no longer in her energy draining, vampiric aura – haa).

Step 7: Cut all communications short. But, if you have something really cool/fun going on this weekend make sure she hears about it (but don’t invite her unless you’ll be arriving with a hot girl.)

Step 8: If she compliments you on anything say, “That’s exactly what Gina said…” this will make her wonder…

Step 9: Ask her how her hottest friend is doing and ask enough questions that she has to wonder why you keep bringing her up. Jealousy is always fun.

Step 10: Never, ever, ever under any circumstances try to get back with her (assuming you even want her back) until she’s the one pursuing. If she tries to get back with you tell her you are having way too much fun to enjoy anything more than a physical relationship.

~ CJ ~

 

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